The internet's most uncomfortably specific roast joke library. Coming soon.

We're building a library of roasts that are too specific to be reused. Jokes for the dad who color-codes his Notion. The retiring teacher who threatened the same kid with the same detention for 22 years. The sister who insists she invented a yoga pose. Hundreds of them, organized by occasion and personality, free to read.

In the meantime, if you actually need a roast for someone you actually know, our sister site writes one custom. Twenty lines, written in your subject's specific patterns and quirks, delivered ready to read aloud at retirements, big birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, anywhere a real laugh beats a generic toast.